Wednesday night has become Movie Club night. We have friends over, Matt cooks dinner, I make dessert, and everyone takes turns picking a movie for us all to watch. So far Movie Club has consisted of the following:

1. Eating: chicken biryani, homemade chocolate chip cookies
Watching: The Brown Bunny (yes, it really is the worst movie ever)

2. Eating: Italian sausage spaghetti, ice cream cones (not homemade)
Watching: Eagle vs. Shark

3. Eating: white bean soup, chocolate Oreo pudding parfaits
Watching: The Twilight Samurai

Which brings us to tonight, my first night to pick the movie, and I'm a little nervous. When Matt first formulated the idea of Movie Club, I asked if I would be allowed to join. He said he didn't know, so I asked "Well, when you pictured it in your head, did you picture me there?"

Clearly, my Movie Club membership has been on thin ice from the start, and I suspect that the main reason I have even been allowed to participate thus far is that Movie Club takes place in my livingroom. And my house is pretty small.

Tonight Matt is making calzones, I made strawberry shortcake that is decidedly anti-short, and we are going to watch Howl's Moving Castle. Wish me luck.

I am as far away from having a (wedding) dress as is humanly possible according to the laws of physics.

I had a bad day. We went out to lunch and my debit card was declined. I knew I hadn't transferred very much money to that checking account but there certainly was enough to pay for lunch. On the way home, somehow my linguine leftovers spilled all over the inside of my purse. Then while looking through my bank statement to try and sort out the money mix up, I figured out that FreeCreditReport.com has been scamming money out of my bank account for over 3 months. Awesome.

I just haven't felt like writing. We have had some really good times lately, a mini-vacation to St. Louis, starting a movie club, making wedding plans. But I am stressed out with clinicals and finishing school and am just generally more anxious than I'd like to be.

Later on when Matt got home we took Ruby for a walk and a (stray/lost/no tag but wearing a Harley Davidson collar) dog followed us home. We were cautious and locked Ruby inside while we waited for the animal shelter to come, but the dog turned out to be completely sweet. My wallet, grocery lists, birth control and lipstick were all still smeared in marinara, but it's amazing how nice a time you can have in your own front yard, just hanging out with someone else's dog.

The next time that you think it's ok to leave your crate-trained dog out in the bedroom while you go to work because isn't she just so cute and innocent and all she'll do is sleep anyway, you'll probably be right. You'll probably be right the next ten, maybe even twenty times. She'll be a model citizen, basking in the sun and greeting you at the front door, tail wagging. And then one day she'll EAT A KITE.

I briefly consider keeping a log of the amount of time he spends everyday playing that game. A bright green post-it note under the coffee table with columns for hours spent on the computer vs. hours spent with me. With me, not near me. They are different.

I would use the numbers to sketch out pie charts, label bar graphs, assemble percentage allocations. PowerPoints would overflow with the injustice of it all, I would win my case with statistics. There is no doubt.

But then I realize that maybe this is a spiteful thing to do. And that I am lazy. And that he is not so bad.

Date finally set. September 1st, Labor Day. Is it wrong to just want to grill out hamburgers and drink beer at your own wedding?

We ended up making the sandwiches last night. I thought they were delicious, and Matt liked them OK. The amount of Worcestershire sauce definitely made the meat too salty though, so I would cut that down next time. Otherwise I was really pleased, they were really good and REALLY filling.

This afternoon I made the cupcakes for my brother's birthday- Kirby and 1Up Mushrooms. When I was uploading the picture I thought to myself, "1Up Cupcakes... I will call them 1UPCAKES!" because I am 5 years old.

I also doodled some family portraits with the leftovers.

I'm afraid I'm becoming CRAZY CUPCAKE LADY. When neighborhood kids walk by they whisper and cross to the other side of the street.

Things have not been peachy this week. I've been working through the whole emotional mess of being (not actually) pregnant, including realizing that part of me was really kind of happy to be having an (imaginary) baby. Not to mention then my actual period hormones, finishing all of my last projects and taking exams, trying to pin down a location for the wedding, getting ready for clinic, and still after two months not adjusting very well to the weeknight routine that goes with Matt's new hours.

But it's those damn hormones that always cloud my usually happy, sunny vision and so this morning I feel better. I have a really good backup idea for the wedding if our first choice doesn't work out. Tonight the menu calls for a Pioneer Woman recipe.

I haven't decided whether or not to try to make our own wings or to do this sandwich. They both look so good. And tomorrow we're having one of my favorite events- a big game night with my family. Plus it's my brother's birthday and he's requested me to create Mario 1UP Mushroom cupcakes, so I'll get to bake all morning. We're teetering on the edge of spring and Easter will be here soon. PLUS I found out that my uniform for my new clinic is a lab coat! So this weekend I get to go buy lab coats. I am basically a doctor now.*

* except for the part where I'm not a doctor in any way at all. However, a doctor is going to be officiating my wedding, so I think that sort of helps my cause. Plus, dude, I get to walk around a hospital in a lab coat.]]> 2008-03-04T19:45:33Z 2008-03-04T13:04:13-06:00 tag:www.gettothechoppa.com,2008:/two/9.1093 2008-03-04T19:04:13Z

Am not dead. Yet. Last week of classes, many more updates soon. xox

I've been so sick for the past 5 days that when I answered the phone over the weekend my mom said, "Well hello, my future son-in-law!"

I have been playing a lot of Professor Layton and have had over 11 quarts of orange juice but so far I still feel like I've been run over by the ass truck. I tried to take a picture of my throat by sticking my phone in my mouth, just to see if there was some kind of, I don't know, obvious sign of DANGER, but this was exactly as effective and you'd think it would be.

Matt is home sick today too, and while you may think that this is cute, the two of us at home snuggling on the couch and drinking chicken soup broth out of a two pronged straw, you are very very wrong. I want to cuddle, he wants to not touch me, the dog wants to jump all over us, we're both hungry but no one has the energy to cook so we just look at Pioneer Woman recipes and drool.

Have I mentioned we don't do sick very well? I think I'll go wander from room to room whining and wishing for cinnamon rolls.

I think that 2008 will henceforth be known as The Year of The Rat HOLY SHIT. Life is about to change in a million different ways, by this time next year you might not even recognize me. I'll have an entirely different name, for one thing. I have two more weeks of classes, then clinicals for 12 weeks (working for free), then I graduate. Then I take my boards and hopefully pass, so I should be starting a new and lucrative job by the beginning of July. We start our foster parent classes tonight, so by the end of April we'll be legally licensed to accept placements. Placements = Babies and I don't know if you guys know anything about babies, but you have to feed them and bathe them and put them to sleep and they aren't allowed to stay home alone while you go out to the Indian Buffet. From what I hear, dogs are not considered acceptable supervision either. This may change our household dynamic somewhat.

Not to mention the fact that we're getting married in August. And we're trying to get Matt back to school to start his second Bachelor's this summer. AND now because of the market, we're considering trying to buy a house instead of just renting something bigger. Could we find a few more stressful things to cram into the next six months? Maybe someone we love will die or there will be a gigantic natural disaster or our dog will get tired of babysitting and run away.

The truth is, I'm actually feeling pretty relaxed about all of this. I'm excited about every single one of the changes and I know we'll deal with them together as they come. I'm ready for a new way of life. But yesterday a recent graduate of my program came in to talk to our class about what the transition from school to her career was like and about all of the stresses of your last semester and passing your boards and getting licensed, etc. "I thought I was doing fine," she said happily. "I was handling everything, I didn't think I needed help or to talk to anyone about all of the changes I was going through." Sound familiar? "AND THEN, I broke into gigantic hives all over my face and had paralyzing chest pain and didn't know why until I realized that I had been bottling all of my stress up inside."

So this post is my official un-bottling, do you hear that hives fairy? I am expressing my feelings in a healthy and adult manner so I will not be needing your services of exploding them all over my face as itchy red welts, but thank you. It's the thought that counts.

Matt keeps on calling me Fiancé Knowles and then yelling LET ME UPGRADE YA.

Everything went well with the visit yesterday and we're starting our classes this coming Tuesday. Everyone has to take 9 weeks of "Don't Kick Babies" classes before they can get licensed. So if everything goes smoothly we should be licensed by the end of April. Considering the popularity of the population of kids we're accepting right now (newborn to one year is the most requested age) it will probably still be awhile before we get a placement. We are going to move into a bigger house once I graduate in June, so waiting until after that will probably work out better for us anyway. Who knows? is pretty much the theme of this whole thing though. It may be June of next year and we could still be baby-free. But I am excited about getting ready and at least getting all of our ducks in a row.

I also made stuff this afternoon for Matt's preschool's Valentine's Day bakesale tomorrow. These cupcakes are by far the cheapest and easiest dessert to make for that kind of fundraiser, the ingredients cost a total of $5 and I piped them all using Ziplock bags.